Alright, quit screwing around.

Imagine trying to hold onto a seven pound light bulb, made of extra fine glass, covered in soapy water and worth your entire life’s income one hundred times over. This is what it felt like the first time I gave my daughter a bath.

Not wanting to put this added stress on my exhausted wife I volunteered for bath duty right from the start. After getting the hang of it, my daughter and I were able to experience some valuable bonding time at our kitchen sink.

Fast forward nine months. Sadly, as it became obvious that bath time was becoming more fun than stress, mommy started to work her way into the rotation more and more. Now I just spend that time sitting in the living room staring at the wall. Yes, I know my place. Sometimes I take a seat next to mommy and try to help. According to her, I just screw up her routine, apparently (also according to her) it’s on purpose.

The introduction of bubbles has taken bath time to a whole new level. As a thirty something, bubble baths are now a distant memory. That is until the other day. I was standing in the shower on a Sunday morning, staring down at the drain when I said to my self “screw it”. I Stepped on the drain plug, stopping the water from escaping and sat my ass down in the tub. As the water level slowly started to rise, I began to read over the directions of the California Baby® Calming™ Aromatherapy Bubble Bath calling for a cap full of the solution to be used, I thought “I am a grown ass man, I am going to use way more than that.”

To date we have used two brands of bubble bath, both purchased at Target. First we used the Baby Bee Bubble Bath, from Burt’s Bees. While sitting with my wife as she gave our daughter a few bubble baths, it was exciting watching her discover the suds. What WAS this strange substance? We would scoop suds up and plop them on top of her head and she would laugh. She would bury her face in a mountain of bubbles and try to eat them. You wonder what must be going through her mind. After a few baths with the Burt’s Bees, I found the aroma of the Bee Bubble Bath to be a little strong and sometimes hard to tolerate. Which was strange because on their website this product has a rating of “29 out of 29(100%)customers would recommend this product to a friend.” We are only left to believe that these 29 people must not have working noses.

Thankfully, my lovely wife agreed and we decided to try the California Baby product. We instantly fell in love with the lack of horrible smell and the huge mountain of suds it produced. Included is a  little bubble want that our baby found fascinating. Apparently this was a suggestion from a customer, I’m not sure if I actually believe this but it makes for a good marketing gimmick. However you be the judge whether it justifies the price. The California Baby Bubble bath was almost $13 for a 13oz bottle where the Burt’s Bees was around $9 for 12oz.

They both claim to be all natural. Here is what’s in them.

California Baby® Calming™ Aromatherapy Bubble Bath:
Mild vegetable-derived bubbling agents, enriched with a nourishing herbal complex that works to protect delicate skin. Non-drying, extremely biodegradable bubble bath strictly avoids the use of synthetic fragrances and harsh bubbling agents. This product was developed to avoid irritation (that is typical of other bubble baths) and California Baby never uses Sodium lauryl sulfate, DEA, or numbing agents.

Ingredients: Purified water, *decyl polyglucose, *soapbark, *yucca, *calendula, *aloe vera, *rosewater, *cactus, *acacia, *Irish moss, vitamin e, *phospholipid (emollient, coconut source), *California Baby’s proprietary essential oil blend, polyaminopropyl biguanide (extremely mild antimicrobial; no formaldehyde (or formaldehyde donors), non-solvent and non-genotoxic). No parabens, sodium benzoate, benzoic acide, benzyl alcohol or phenoxyethanol. No nuts, oils, gluten, soy, oat or dairy.*organic or sustainable ingredients.
Not tested on animals. No animal ingredients. Eco-friendly and biodegradable.

Burt’s Bees Baby Bee Bubble Bath:
Vanilla Extract: Orchidaceae. From the tropical epiphytic orchi, this extract is principally used in commercial flavorings and cosmetics.

Ingredients:  Water, decyl glucoside, coco-betaine, lauryl glucoside, sucrose laurate, glycerin, betaine, coco-glucoside, sodium cocoyl hydrolyzed soyprotein, fragrance, vanilla planifolia (vanilla) fruit extract, citrus aurantium dulcis (orange) peel oil, illicium verum (anise) oil, citrus medica limonium (lemon) peel oil, eugenia caryophyllus (clove) flower oil, glyceryl oleate, sodium chloride, xanthan gum, glucose, citric acid, glucose oxidase, lactoperoxidase

California Baby seems like they are a smaller company which we like but I would not be surprised if they were owned by a giant evil company such as Umbrella Corp.  According to these hippies, Burt’s Bees was bought by Clorox a while ago. Do I care? Not really. I know that the Burt’s Bees has a crappy smell that lingers for days in our bathroom. Do I think it is going to make us turn into zombies, because it is actually a secret bio weapon. Probably not. I understand that not everything natural, smells like roses. Take a rotting carcass for instance, while very natural this is not a smell I want in my daughter’s (or my own) bubble bath.

For bubble baths, we will be sticking with the California Baby. It has a very soothing sent, makes gobs and gobs of suds and my daughter loves it. The bubble wand is a nice touch.  However, it would be nice to find a less expensive alternative. Lets face it, between my daughter’s nightly and my morning bubble baths, those 13oz bottles are not going to last long.